WHY THINGS ARE FALLING APART even if you pray for God’s help

This was not the plan.

Things are falling apart despite trying your best to hold it together.

You’ve asked God for help so many times, but you can’t hear Him. Things aren’t changing.

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You know as Christians, we’re meant to carry crosses, but this doesn’t feel like it’s meant to be one.

So why isn’t God answering?

Ready for a bold explanation? If this cross was meant for you, God would give you enough grace to have a peaceful heart.

If you’re not at peace, we have to dig deeper.

Dear Mama, the key is in your heart. Often we ask God for help TOO LATE down the path.

But don’t give up yet. There are some action steps you can take to renew your hope.

Warning: this is not a post for lukewarm Christians. You will have to do some honest, bold soul-searching if you want a lasting and joyful change.

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god is not a genie

First, we’ll look deep inside and face a fundamental question:

Is God God or are you?

There are a lot of people out there who treat God like a genie.

Many Christians love to rub the lamp when they want something to go right, toss up a quick request for His blessing, then stuff Him back in the lamp so they can carry on with their lives.

They’ve already decided which path they will take.

Deep down, fear is holding them back from trusting Him with the path before they take the first step.

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who’s God in your life?

Let me give you an example.

How many people ask if they should marry their spouse, before they put the ring on, fully aware that there was a possibility God might say no?

Or did they fear what people would think, of being alone, of hurting their fiance? Did it keep them from doing a real discernment?

If God had said no, would you have obeyed even if it meant temporary heartache for the two of you?

I see often with my friends when it comes to putting on the ring that “happy, loving feelings = God’s Will” automatically without inviting God in for a real conversation at all.

Assuming God wants to bless our independent decisions will not give you a lifetime of happiness.

Neglecting to ask God His Will for big life decisions is the equivalent of giving HIm a NO and walking down a different path.

A path paved with disappointment, with feeling incomplete and having less of a relationship with God than you were made for.

Which can lead to things falling apart and feeling abandoned by God even when we were the ones who walked away.

But God is so loving and so incomprehensively respectful of His children’s free will, He lets us go on without Him.

god is a gentleman

What love God has for you! Your free will supersedes His own will. Think about that.

We don’t have a God who smites or leaves. We do that. He doesn’t turn us into obeying robots. He cries. And He waits for His daughter to turn back to Him.

What a gentleman our Father is.

We can ask for His blessing as much as we want, but when we give Him a NO, He respects that.

And respects all the painful consequences that come from our choice outside His Will even when it hurts Him too.

He can’t bless someone who doesn’t actually want the blessings He has.

Does that make sense?

He wants to bless us so very much. His heart just yearns for it. He had perfect, personal blessings in mind for us before we were even born.

But blessing the wrong path (that He knows will hurt us) is against His Fatherly nature. He wants the best for us. A good Father will not settle for mediocre for His daughter.

He is a Person who wants a relationship with you. All of you.

We can’t have parts of God, like “the blessing” part. We can’t have a God who “does stuff for us” but when it’s our turn to obey and give back to Him, we get resentful or angry.

If that’s the case, you’re not treating Him as God – once again, that’s a genie or a slave.

At the same time, quickly talking TO Him and asking for His help, doesn’t mean you’re listening.

Is your prayer a conversation or a monologue?

When God says no, it’s because He knows there’s something better and more beautiful coming your way.

What happens when we say no?

is god the one saying no? or is it us?

Anne Graham (Billy Graham’s daughter) had an insightful interview 9/11. So many people were struggling with how God could let something so tragic and evil happen. She summed it up so eloquently:

“I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”

~ Anne Graham from an interview on the Early Show

What about you? Is God in control of every aspect of your life? Your marriage? Your children? Finances? Your job?

Do you trust Him enough as your Daddy to take care of you and your family in everything?

GOD IS A FATHER

Not every earthly dad is good.

Our dads are meant to be a reflection of God the Father, so when they are less than holy, we internalize hidden lies about who God is.

Think of the kids with absent father-figures in their lives. Are they happy when he finally shows up with gifts for them? Do they really want the toys he brings? Or do they want him?

God is the best Daddy that will ever be. He will never leave or abandon us, no matter how badly we hurt Him or mess things up or how far we run.

He waits for us to come home.

We weren’t created to be happy with an only-blessing-and-no-relationship with our Father. God isn’t happy without our hearts either.

But so often that’s what we’ve taught ourselves to want. We try to fill a God-size hole in our hearts with everything else: our spouse, recognition, money, a successful career (or Pinterest-worthy home and family).

It will never be enough.

Only God is big enough to fill a God-sized hole.

And your Daddy is just bouncing on His toes to spend time with you and fill you up with love and blessings until you overflow.

what to do now

If you’re wanting to receive those blessings, it’s time to let go.

I had an image in prayer once of God trying to give my friend jewels of every colour. There were so many they were spilling out of His hands.

She kept reaching to take them, but her hands were full. So she couldn’t receive anything, even if she was asking for them.

You have to empty yourself completely before you can receive every blessing you need (more than you could ever imagine, our Daddy is generous beyond measure).

You have to give him everything or nothing.

What are in your hands now?

It’s time to let it go.

How do you do that?

• Book quiet prayer time to specifically ask where there are NOs in your life.
• Pray for confirmation and strength if you need to turn to a different path.
• Ask if there any people in your life (including yourself) that you love more than God.
• What fears are controlling your choices? Give God permission to face them with you.
• Have you made any unholy vows to God? An example, “if you don’t do this, ___” or “I’ll never be able to give up ___”… You will need to repent before you can move forward.
• Reconcile with God. You can’t empty those hands without naming them and asking forgiveness.

going forward

The next time you have a big decision to make, your heart and mind will be in the right place.

You know it’s in your best interest to ask first. And you trust that your Father wants the BEST for you.

Here’s a simple prayer to help focus your heart on God before you ask His Will.

God can’t wait to bless you. He will help you. Your hands need to be open, empty, and ready to head down the perfect path He’s made you for.

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READ MORE:

• Ready to hear God’s Will for the next adventure in your life? Here are 7 concrete steps to take.
• Is it God or is me? How to hear God’s whisper
• When God says no to something good: the next steps